A little princess

There is a lot of focus in our society on princesses. The toy aisles are lined with pink proclamations of childhood royalty. According to to Merriam-Webster, a princess is archaically defined as a woman having sovereign power. Other definitions include "a female member of a royal family", "the consort of a prince", and "one likened to a princess. Especially a woman of high rank or of high standing in her class or profession ". "Examples: 'She's just a stuck up princess'." "Synonyms: goddess, diva, queen". 


Really?


Lilah truly despises the Disney Princesses in all their forms. From Cinderella to Tangled, we've tried them all. The only one she perked up at was Beauty and the Beast. I'm not sure Belle counts - the well-read, intelligent, spirited young woman with the courage to stand up to a beast of a man everyone worships to protect the kind soul she sees inside of a monster. She was a princess in word and deed, but like many today who would exhibit all of the same admirable qualities, she was shunned by her town. They easily acknowledged her beauty but dismissed her as "rather odd". 


This "princess" mentality the little girls have today is something I'm trying hard to shelter my daughter from. In Eloise at the Plaza, Eloise remarked that her mother was the most sought after woman at the debutante ball, "because she had grace". When did we trade in grace, gentleness, compassion, modesty, intelligence, and self-reliance for this entitled attitude? 


I prefer the archaic definition of the word - a woman of sovereign power. While waiting for the traffic update on my way to work, I was forced to listen to Taylor Swift's "Love Story". In a ritualistic slaughter of Shakespeare, she recounts being young and in love. The girl pines and wastes away waiting for Romeo, who eventually shows up, dazzles her with a ring, and tells her, "I love you and that's all I really know." Is that enough? No. Not even close. There's no effort put forth, no work at a relationship, no mutual respect. I was disgusted by the message and prayed for some kind of explosion or breaking news to interrupt. And while I agree that Lilah's eventual "Prince" (or "Princess") should treat her like royalty, no daughter of mine should pine away in a tower, helpless until rescued.


In reality, there is no "Prince Charming". There might be half a dozen, depending on what path in life she chooses. There's no magic man to solve all your problems for you. In the best case scenario, she will find a partner to hold her hand through the tough times, cover her eyes during scary parts of movies, shake some sense into her when she's being unreasonable, and love her for the Beauty she really is. Even in A Knight's Tale, Will takes all manner of abuse to prove his love. To the point of death or physical injury, he places himself in harm's way to show his Lady he was sincere. Now, had she been in danger and he was willing to place himself between his Lady and the offending force, it wouldn't be so wrong. But the fact she makes him put his life on the line for her own personal sport disgusts me. That's not love. That's spoiled entitlement. Those aren't the values we want our daughter to have.


To be a Disney Princess, Lilah Rose would have to have an impossible waistline, dress provocatively, sing beautifully, and suffer endless evil persecution until the day her Prince rides in on his white steed to rescue her. Oh, and all before her 18th birthday, mind you. In reality, we'd love her to be more like Eloise - a spirited hellion who values honestly, romance, integrity, friendship, courage, beauty, and grace. "I'm Eloise. I'm six. I am a city child. I live at the Plaza." I'll close with the line from A Little Princess. When asked if there were really princesses, her Indian friend Maya tells Sarah, "All women are princesses. It is our right." I agree. We have a right. But we also have a responsibility.