Dano and I have seemed to fall into these strange family traditions. His family appears to have a lot of them. They always say "I love you" before getting off the phone (you never know when it's going to be the last time you get to say it, they say), they say "Don't let the bedbugs bite your bunions" before bed (no idea why), they listen to and sing Alice's Restaurant by Arlo Guthrie every Thanksgiving. My family didn't have many, so, being a creature who thrives on structure and pattern, I have happily become the matriarch of a family of traditions (yet, not a traditional family).
Any morning we're both free, we have coffee together. He calls me Aranel (Elvish for princess). We watch hockey games together as a family. We eat meals together whenever we're not at work (including Lilah, who mostly observes the eating, but sometimes gets tiny licks of whatever I'm eating). We watch Gilmore Girls together every morning, and most afternoons we watch Ellen. I sing her Bandit Queen by Colin Meloy countless times a day. It's her favorite lullaby.
Every night, Lilah gets put in her little blue bathtub in the bottom of the shower with whoever is showering that night (we alternate nights) and kicks and splashes, screams when she is removed from her tub, gets slathered with lotion, sprinkled with powder, and fed a bedtime snack. While she's eating from one breast, Dano reads one of her books from her room (there are a few he won't read that I have to read to her when he's at work, since he is of the opinion all children's books need to rhyme). Lately, he's favored The Zax, The Sneeches, or What Was I Scared Of? all by Dr. Seuss and handily located in Lilah's Hatful of Seuss anthology. He also frequently reads Blueberry Girl by Neil Gaiman, or Barnyard Dance by Sandra Boynton (although when it gets to the word "promenade", we argue over pronunciation before he can continue, regardless of dictionary.com confirming my correctness on the matter). When she burps and switches breasts, Dano switches to a great work of literature, currently Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien. I love listening to him read aloud, because his voice has just the right quality of expressiveness and character without being overdone. He reads at just the right pace and hardly ever stumbles over words, unlike myself. Lilah listens intently with wide eyes, and when she's finished and burped, sits on my knees and stares at him, sometimes adding her own commentary on the story, sometimes smiling appropriately when we laugh or smile at a funny part. When she starts getting either drowsy or grouchy, I swaddle her, kiss her, tell her I love her, and put her in her basket with her pacifier. She's out within seconds.
When Dano and I say goodnight, it's always the same. Dano starts it.
"I love you big as the universe."
"Love you big as a star."
"Be blessed with good dreams, restful sleep, and good Lilah."
"Be blessed with good dreams, restful sleep, and good Soupin-cat." (This part reflecting our respective night-time responsibilities - Lilah for me, and throwing things at the cat if she's loud for Dano).
"Don't let the hedgehogs fly a kite."
"Don't let the hedgehogs catch fireflies." (The activity of the hedgehogs varies night to night, and that was started because I thought talking about bedbugs biting bunions was odd, and the first time Dano said it to me, I thought he said hedgehogs, not bedbugs).
"Goodnight, beautiful."
"Goodnight, love."
I love our traditions, and Lilah seems to thrive on them. I would be so blessed if she is able to look back with fondness at them and maybe even pass some on to her future family.
