Lilah has been saying "Mama" for several weeks now. It's really cute, and takes quite a bit of effort, usually coming out closer to "Mmmmumah". The first time she said it, she was playing in bed on a Sunday morning, trying in vain to get her lazy parents to wake up and interact with her. In frustration, she slapped Dano on the face and said, "Mama!" Then she moved on to banging her hands on her high chair and yelling, "Mama!" when I would get distracted while feeding her. I was afraid she would associate the word with food (having already mastered saying "Mmm" when she wants something to eat), which Dano found hilarious and encouraged. Just this morning, she was in her basket wanting to be picked up and awake. I wasn't quite awake enough to respond. After a few minutes of fussing mildly, I could hear her frustration building as I tried to drag myself away from dreaming. Finally, she gave a howl and yelled, "Mamaaaa!" I couldn't help laughing and scooping her up, praising her for her accomplishment. 7 months is very young to have mastered a word. I'm not entirely sure of her understanding of its meaning. I don't know if she associates it with me exclusively now, either parent, or just realizing it's the fastest way to get her needs met. Small babies are unbelievably clever.
Speaking of clever, Lilah is crafty beyond belief. In her efforts to explore the entire world around her, it seems like she innately knows what she is and is not supposed to touch. Not that something being forbidden stops her from attempting to grab/eat it. I've been reading that now is the time discipline (not punishment) needs to begin with setting limits on a baby's behavior and interactions. I learned that at this stage, babies are constantly reading their parents' faces for cues on the world around them. Mothers that are forever following their tiny explorer with a worried look will create an anxiety-ridden child who is wary of the world around him. This explained how Lilah knew when she had encountered something she wasn't allowed to have. When she inches toward an electrical cord, she always turns around to look at my face, which is wearing a "Don't even think about it" expression. Babies have no poker face. I can always read exactly how her synapses are firing just by watching her face. Synapses are as follows: "I want that. Mama is not happy. I am not supposed to have that. I will smile at her. I love her. She did not smile back. I am very fast now on this shiny floor. She is over there. Here I go!" She always seems shocked when I beat her there. I'm not sure what to say to her. I want to save "No" for serious things. The medical journals I've been reading said "Ouch" is fine, but even just removing her from the object with a stern face is enough for her to get the idea.
I was unaware that I was supposed to set limits on Lilah's interactions with people at this stage. I didn't even notice that her relationship with Soupin Cat has been changing. I would allow her to tug and wrestle the poor animal for a few minutes before setting the cat on her lap and teaching her to pet softly, saying, "Nice to kitty" and "Gentle". Again, Lilah would watch my face and watch me pet the cat. Now she and Soup are best friends. Soup will approach her and sit very close to her. After an initial shriek of happiness that the cat willingly put itself within reach (and sometimes a fistful or two of hair), she calms down and pats Soupin nicely, who responds in kind by head-butting her and nuzzling.
I had never thought about doing the same thing with people. She has a bad habit of grabbing glasses, pulling hair, and smacking faces in an attempt to touch and feel the person holding her. It isn't out of meanness in any way. She just has no concept of hurt. The more I read, the more important I see it is for us to teach her that "Nice" and "Gentle" don't just apply to the poor cat, and it isn't mean to remove her from someone/something she is interested in if she isn't being nice. It's a fine line between making her afraid to explore and teaching her to be kind to her surroundings. I have vehemently sworn myself from controlling parenting, but I would never want to raise a spoiled little girl. It's such a difficult thing to know where to draw the line. She's an adventurous, independent baby who gets pure joy out of exploring the wide world around her she just discovered was there. I never want that to change, and I wouldn't quell that spirit in her for anything. I just also see so much of myself in her some days - my temper, my defiance, my independence and willfulness - and I want her to be like me in some of those ways. I am never afraid to speak my mind, and I chose to become fully my own person, even though it cost me my whole world at the time. I just also made many mistakes along the way out of pure stubbornness, and I would love to keep her from doing the same. I just know that the Irish in her is as prominent as it is in her mother, and just by expressing my displeasure in something, I'll send her crawling toward it as fast as her chubby little arms and legs can propel her.
