An update

Lilah has improved tenfold since the last time I wrote. Even though there wasn't a pattern we noticed, we did see that her shriek was mostly one of impatience. Instead of "peeping" (as we call her small noises to alert us she's becoming upset) for a few minutes and escalating to screams if her needs went unmet, she went straight for the screams. I was confused by this, since we always bend over backwards to meet her needs as soon as we're aware of them. Larry had a good explanation for us. He said that now she knows the end result - a clean diaper, being nursed, getting cuddles - and she doesn't want to have to wait to get there. She wants it instantly. The only way to prevent that is to either meet her needs before she knows she needs them (fairly difficult), or to go about business as usual and let her learn that screams don't accomplish anything any faster. We went with the latter, and it has worked well. Not to say she doesn't dissolve instantly into screams sometimes. She's just getting a little better at waiting for a parent to come to her, communicating with complaints or her trademark teeth-clenching and yelling "nein!" (don't ask how she learned it. We have no idea).

Moving on, I had frequently grown nostalgic lately, missing my tiny little infant Lilah who couldn't sleep unless she felt her mama's skin on her skin. At times, I would nab her and hold her tightly to my chest. She'd flail her little limbs and push away from me and scream. I'd say, "I'm your mama. I gave birth to you. I'll cuddle you if I want, and you will like it!" Usually Dano would rescue her and turn her loose again. Lately though, she has crawled to me, fussing, and put her arms up for me. I pick her up, and she puts her head down on my chest and snuggles me, putting her first and middle fingers in her mouth and sucking on them, making sweet little cooing noises. She twirls the fingers of her other hand in my hair and makes tiny, contented peeps every now and then. Every time she does it, my heart about breaks from the sweetness of it and loving her so much. She is so big and independent, but I hope part of her will always be the little baby who needs her mama.