Exodus according to a 2 1/2 year old

I watched Prince of Egypt with Lilah tonight as our snuggle movie. It was so interesting and wildly entertaining to hear her commentary and answer her questions. There were some more potent questions that I left for Pastor Grannie Annie to answer at a later date and just placated her with, "Hush and watch the movie." I decided to transcribe some of her comments.

"What's she doing to her baby, Mama? Puttin' him in the water? Why is she crying? Is he gonna be okay? Yeah? He likes her singin' to him? Why are the alligators eatin' the baby?"

"Why he hurtin' her, Mama? Is she all right? Yeah? Is she singing? Is she happy? Yeah? Why's she crying?"

"What's that?"
"A camel."
"Is the camel eating him?"

"Did he fall down into the water? Are they getting him out? Is he swimming?"

"What's that, Mama? Water?"
"No, darling. It's a tree on fire. It's God."
"God?"
"God."
"God likes trees?"
"Sure."
"He likes putting fire on them?"
"...Sure."
"Lookit, Mama. God gave Moses a stick. Does he like it? Yeah? Pick up your stick."

"What's the stick doing? Making a snake? Yeah? Why not?"
"God did it with his power."
"What are they (the Egyptian priests) doing?"
"Well, they're asking their Gods to make snakes too."
"They have God?"
"Their God's name is Ra."
"Look, Mama. Ra made snakes like God...God-snake's eatin' the other snakes...They're gone. Are they sad? Is the snake a stick now? Did he miss his stick? He picked it up."

"What's wrong with the water, Mama?"
"It's yucky. God put blood in it."
"Ra made blood."
"Well, it's fake blood. God made real blood."
"No."

"What's happenin', Mama?"
"Um...God's coming down from the sky."
"What's He doing?"
"He's...taking the babies away."
"Why?"
"Because Pharaoh wasn't nice and he's in trouble."
"That little boy fell down. God isn't nice."
"..."
"God should be nice. God shouldn't push the little boy down. God should go back up there."
(When Pharaoh's son died) "Is he sleeping?"
"...No. He was sick and now he's not going to come back."
"God put him to sleep?"
"Well...Pharaoh is...God...yes. "
"His daddy can't cover him up. He (the little boy) doesn't want to be cozy. He wants to get up. He doesn't want to be sleeping."

"Are they happy? Yeah? Are they singing songs? Do they get to go home? Did God do it? Did Ra do it? Did the stick do it? Moses is happy because he has his stick."

So, in conclusion, God looks like water and likes setting trees on fire, Ra is just as talented as God at making snakes out of sticks and blood out of water, God is mean and should go back where he came from instead of making little boys sleep when they "don't want to be cozy", and we would all be a little happier if we had magical sticks.