I feel that I have reached the end of my rope. I gave up on trying to be hopeful and optimistic and have comfortably settled into a state of constantly pissed off and miserable. Why, you ask? Because attempting to smile and be happy irritates me. Today I made a mental list of things that make me want to kick puppies.
1. People telling me to hang in there.
2. People giving me advice on how to get babies to come out.
3. People touching me.
4. People.
5. Losing solitaire.
6. Winning solitaire, because then I'm bored and not distracted anymore.
7. Nightmares that successfully ruin the next day because they're so awful.
8. The constant reminder that Twilight is coming out on DVD for only 17 dollars at Wal-Mart. I don't know how many times I can hear Bella claim she's NOT afraid of sparkly vampires without throwing things at the TV.
9. Knowing that my husband cannot read minds and make me feel better, but needing him to do both anyway.
10. Happy music.
11. Sad music.
12. Having to walk through the nursery to get to the bathroom, since there's no baby in it (just a cat who has adopted the space as her own personal loft).
13. Thinking about money and work.
14. Knowing how badly I want my body to have this baby on its own, but not feeling strong enough to hold out until I *have* to be induced.
15. Knowing that my appointment today won't be anymore insightful than the last 4 have been, yet being required to go in an hour anyway.
16. Not being able to eat or recline at all, since the baby is too big for me to breathe if I do either.
That's all I came up with so far. I'm sure there are more. I'll update after my super-fantastic appointment at 3:00 I guess. It's St. Patrick's Day, and I want to celebrate it in full Irish fashion.
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