The day my life changed

7-8-2008

"I haven't written anything like a journal in four years, and certainly nothing like this one. I guess I just want some record of this for later on. I'm a little off-track, so I'll start at the beginning.
I'm pregnant. I found out two days ago. It was a Sunday and Dano was at work. I'd been feeling weird - sleepy all the time, and my breasts hurt. Not just monthly hormone ache. They hurt sharply all the time. I went to Target for a pizza and some notebook paper, and picked up a pregnancy test. I was watching Juno and cooking my pizza when curiosity got the best of me and I took the test. As soon as I saw it was positive, I started shaking. It was like someone had kicked me. There was a person growing inside me. I thought I'd be so happy. Fear was the only thing I felt. What would Dano say? Would he be mad? What if we couldn't afford a baby? I don't know how to be a mother. I cried most of the day. Dano was mostly in shock. He calmly told his parents, who were very supportive. I figured out I'm about a month along.
The last two days have been crazy. I'm sleepy all the time, and I get hungry every two hours. I'm going to the gym tonight so I don't get huge early. My baby has a tiny, two-chambered heart and some blood, and its spinal cord is forming today. Dano's always checking my cups to keep me away from caffeine, and he went out of his way to get me a Caesar salad yesterday. He was the first to get really excited. 'If its already coming, we might as well want it and be happy.' So we're having a baby. I love it already."

That was easily the scariest day of my life. I had been so busy with school all year, and we finally got two weeks off from June 20th to July 7th. I got out of school on a Friday, and got pregnant on Saturday. I was a month along because they calculate your due date based on the first day of your last period. Dano blames the whole ordeal on a plaid skirt to this day. I have a feeling that the two of us not keeping close enough tabs on my ovulation calendar had much more to do with it.