That was my last journal entry, so now everything is current and up to date! The past few days, I've been feeling very cheery and ambitious. I even did the dishes without having to bicker over it with my husband first (it's one of my least favorite chores. I figure, I cook it, he cleans it, everyone wins). And what's more, I enjoyed doing the dishes. Dano thought perhaps I was coming down with something or just feeling sorry for him for having a bad day. The truth was, I just wanted to be busy. I hate driving, and yet I drove myself to my meeting at work, and then decided to drive around Ishpeming (which took about seven minutes all together) and run some errands (another chore I hate doing solo. I know, I'm needy, but I get lonely!).
Today, I got hit with this incredibly restless feeling, like I can't stay inside my own skin. I literally wanted to strap my ridiculously large belly to Dano, get in the car with plenty of music and a full tank of gas, and drive west to the coast. I figured, I could just live a Bohemian lifestyle until getting on my feet there. Maybe it's just the pressure of knowing that my life is about to change drastically, and I'm adding yet another role to my already-crowded cast of characters.
At 21 years of age, I am a daughter (although that role has mostly been disbanded for awhile), an in-law, a wife, a nurse, a friend, a student (another one I'm taking a temporary break from), and soon, a mother as well. I know people older than I am who haven't started back to college yet. I'm not complaining. I have a good life, and a life I chose for myself. It's just starting to sink in that I'm about to be 100% responsible for keeping another person alive all the time. You'd think that wouldn't scare a nurse, right?
My doctor's appointment on Monday went well. My strep test was negative, so that means no IV during labor! Woohoo! The baby has officially dropped into position (2 inches in a week!). I told Dr. Hatfield I think she's trying to sneak out unnoticed. She looked got a funny smile on her face and said, "Oh, you'll notice," in a way that scared me a little. She also said she doesn't do episiotomies unless the baby is in real danger, but can't remember the last time she had to do one. That was exciting too. My vitals and Lilah's weight, position, and vitals have all remained, in her words, "perfect", and my weight gain has stopped at 16 pounds. She said I should be able to have the labor I want. That's a relief to me. I realize that I'll have very little control over the birthing process. I at least want the laboring part to be on my terms, not be dictated by the nurses or other staff. It'll put me at ease as much as I possibly can be at that point. And now, we wait.
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