Since my last post, I have made more changes to our family life than I can count. I ended up having a bit of a melt down recently. In Meijer. While shopping for food. By myself. I might have gotten emotional. There's a possibility I threw some bread. Reports differ.
I was already feeling overwhelmed that day. Not only did I have to get two weeks worth of food on a very limited budget that month, but I also needed cleaning supplies. I was relieved at a huge sale going on for bread and buns. I got my all-natural cleaning supplies and started to gather my food. By the time I got the organic produce that I have to get (or I'm kept up at night with terrible thoughts of Lilah Rose contracting some terrible, pesticide-induced disease), my budget was strapped. The bread and buns were 10-for-10 dollars. I grabbed a loaf of Meijer brand whole wheat bread and a package of wheat buns. 2 dollars. I tossed them in the cart and they landed upside down. One word on the ingredients list. High fructose corn syrup. I lost my mind. I tried so hard. I just wanted to get good food for my family. I just wanted them to not die. I just wanted them to be healthy. I even picked the whole wheat bread. High fructose corn syrup. I might as well have been handing my daughter McDonalds, for all I was concerned. Over-processed, over-modified corn sugar has no place in my home. Unless I'm making popcorn balls. My eyes settled on the hotdogs in the cart. The healthy turkey dogs. One word. Second ingredient. High fructose corn syrup.
I picked the baked goods up and hurled them back on the shelves through tears. I took a minute to compose myself because I was truly on the verge of losing it. I threw the hotdogs too. I chose new bread products. It took 4 brands to find some that contained either sugar or honey as a sweetener AND whole grain flour AND a respectable amount of fiber. Each loaf was well over 3 dollars. Triple the price of the sale bread.
At home (and after purchasing no-nonsense hotdogs from Trader Joe's), I completed re-invented not only my grocery list, but my methods as well. I won't skimp on shoddy produce. I won't buy crappy meats. I won't buy chemicals to clean my house that can hurt my family. Where can I save? I went over my meals, my grocery lists, my food budget, my receipts, my free time, and what I threw away at the end of the week. Something had to change. I saw that my biggest expense (competing with meat and produce, amazingly) was baked goods. Breads, bagels, buns, garlic bread, baguettes. I'd made bread before but remembered it being tasty but impractical for sandwiches. I make homemade garlic bread, but bagels could only be made by professionals. Or could they? I googled "is it cost effective to bake your own bagels". Not only was the resounding answer "yes", but the search yielded many recipes for me to try. I did a similar search for bread. Same answer. If I could find the time to pull it off, I'd be baking for about 44 cents a batch/loaf rather than 3+ dollars. That's less than half the cost of the corn syrupy bread.
The first baking day was a Sunday, and I was nervous. In fact, I had a package of store bought buns, bagels, and bread sitting in the fridge as a backup so we wouldn't starve. Lilah Rose pulled up her "spot" (small red stool), I turned on Pandora, and we set to work. I opened the page I was looking for. "Are you reading a recipe, Mummy?" I nodded. "Are there eggs to crack?" I shook my head. She heaved a sigh. "Well. What can I do?" I measured out dry ingredients for her to mix together. I taught her (while teaching myself) how to proof yeast. We learned how to work dough differently for bagels than for bread. She screamed while kneading and ran to the bathroom. "My hands are dirty and sticky!"
"No daughter of mine is going to run off like a pantywaist! Get back here! Get your hands dirty!"
"Sweetheart, don't call Lilah a pantywaist." (From the other room)
"She started it."
We had a great morning together. We ended up cleaning the kitchen while we worked, so we finished with a clean kitchen and 15 cream puffs, 2 gorgeous loaves of whole grain Amish bread, and 8 golden New York-style bagels in 3 hours. We spent excellent quality time together. I didn't feel exhausted. Just proud. And in a way, relieved. I felt like I was actually taking care of my family instead of just shoveling food at them. One was 3 and one was a vacuum. They'd eat anything I put in front of them. The responsibility to give them something better was on me. I grew up canned vegetables and Hamburger Helper. There was nothing fresh or nutritious. Boxes of Chips Ahoy. Packages Little Debbie snack cakes. No one ever stayed healthy that way.
Since then, I've made all my baked goods at home. I knead doughs in between episodes of tv Dano and I watch when Lilah goes to sleep. I knit a few rows of the winter hats I'm making for the family while the formed bagel rounds rise for their final 10 minutes. I have tea parties with Lilah while the bread rises for its hour. My house smells like fresh bread. It smells like home. I've saved money and peace of mind. I spend a little of my time, but I'm working hard to budget it more wisely so I actually have more of it. After tasting my sandwiches at lunch, I'd never go back to the dry slices of cardboard we had before. And I haven't eaten out during lunch time in weeks. Even my dinner leftovers are much more satisfying.
As for other ways to save money, I don't just buy "what's on sale" and what looks good. I plan my menus for 7 days at a time, breakfast-lunch-dinner. 21 meals plus snacks. I base those meals around the weekly store ads and what's in season. I made tomato sauce and paste with home-grown tomatoes and herbs. Dark chocolate zucchini bread was made with home-grown zucchini. I buy from the store only what I need for the week. I ended up averaging a dollar a person per meal. Good cuts of beef for teriyaki beef and noodles. Home cooked bean and smoked ham soup. We are eating better than we ever have for cheaper than fast food. I've never felt more proud. I talked to one of the doctors today when he brought in bagels about how I make mine. "You cook, you bake, you knit hats. You really are something." And I kind of am. This is the person I always wanted to be. And I'm closer every day.
